The Lesser “I Am”

Learning to See My Wife (and Womanhood) Through God’s Eyes

Proverbs 30:18-19 (NKJV)

There are three things which are too wonderful for me,
Yes, four which I do not understand:

19 The way of an eagle in the air,


The way of a serpent on a rock,


The way of a ship in the midst of the sea,


And the way of a man with a virgin.

Men look at women.  For good or for bad, men look.  Why?  Because you are beautiful.  You are all kinds of beautiful and every type of lovely.  And any man worth his salt knows that God has made nothing more stunning, more alluring, more breathtaking, more fascinating than woman.

After fourteen years of marriage and six children it is a joy to say that my wife is still the “desire of my eye” (as God called Ezekiel’s wife in 24:16).  The way she moves is mesmerizing.  The way her eyes shine when she is pleased, the flavors of her smiles, her hair when it spills across my chest at night, the circle of her lower back – they are altogether lovely.

My eyes still revel in her.  And they are right to do so.  She’s a “yummy mummy”.

But I think that there is an aspect of seeing women in which men have failed – and our culture has utterly abandoned us.  It is the cornerstone of respect – a perspective that our eyes still register but our hearts have forgotten.

What is it?  Awe.  Wonder.  Marvel.  The sense of the sacred – the fear of the holy.

We have allowed media and porn and pop-culture and liberal thought to objectify, demean, uncover and profane half of the image of God.  We have lost our awe of you.  Our awe of women.  And when we lose our awe, we lose our natural sense of respect.

On behalf of all of manhood, I am so sorry.  We have sinned against our God and against you, the daughters of Heaven.  As a husband, as a father of four little girls (and two sons who will one day marry), and as a worshiper of God, my heart aches to reclaim the awe and respect of womanhood.

As men and as a culture, we NEED to respect you.  Respect has the Fear of the Lord at its core.  It lifts man above the animals and gives family, law, society, and morality their foundation.  It humanizes us.

When we stopped being amazed at your womanhood, we lost the nobility of our manhood.

But all is not lost.  Here’s a thought: Have you ever wondered why God was so elusive with Moses?  Why’d he identify Himself as “I AM”?  Every other “god” had a proper name (Isis, Horus, Set, Ra) and a proper religion.  The gods of Egypt were predictable and easy to define.  They were gods of sun and earth, sky and river, life and death.  Each in his proper place with authority in his proper area of oversight.

Then along comes the God of Israel and how does He identify Himself?

Exodus 3:14 14 And God said to Moses, “I AM WHO I AM.” And He said, “Thus you shall say to the children of Israel, ‘I AM has sent me to you.’” (NKJV)

I can just imagine what poor Moses must have been thinking.  His brain was already on tilt after experiencing burning bushes, slithering staffs, and the shock of contracting and being healed of leprosy in the span of five minutes.  It had already been a full day.  Then God tells him this:  “tell the Israelites my name is ‘I AM WHO I AM’”.

That’s not a name; that’s an existential statement!  What on earth can God have meant by calling Himself that?

I have an idea.  “I AM WHO I AM” means you can’t define me.  You can’t change me.  You can’t understand me.  I won’t wear any of your labels and I won’t abide by any of your rules.  Your theology can’t contain me and your “wisdom” can’t restrain me.  There’s no one like me and no one beside me.  I AM OTHER.  HOLY.  WONDERFUL.  SACRED.  FEARSOME!  Mankind, REMAIN AMAZED, REMAIN IN AWE,  BECAUSE I AM WHO I AM and there’s nothing you can do about it.

Wow!  The only way He could sum Himself up was by fixing His identity in the mystery of His marvelously unquantifiable differentness.

That’s the God I serve!  A God of wonder!  I will never fully comprehend Him on this side of the grave, but I will spend my life in the pleasure of the pursuit.  And He loves to be pursued!

Understanding the I AM is the key (I think) to men understanding the mystery of women.

We (men) have spent so much time rubbing our heads, trying to figure out why you don’t think like us, why you don’t communicate the way we do, why you don’t emote (or refrain from emoting) the way we do, and why for the love of ALL THINGS RATIONAL you never put your keys in the same place twice.

I am so sorry.  That is a mold you were never meant to be squished into.

You see, you were created in the image of God.  And if God is the Great I AM, you (I have discovered) are the “Lesser I AM”.  You know what that means?  It means you were made to resemble your Father.  It means there is no one like you and never will be.  It means you defy definition.  You weren’t made to wear mankind’s labels and you can’t abide by culture’s fallen rules.  The philosophies of earth cannot contain you and the religions of man cannot restrain you.  You ARE who you ARE by the grace of God (1 Corinthians 15:10)!

And my wife?  There are days when I feel like Moses.  My brain is on tilt.  I can’t understand her.  She is baffling and confusing and marvelously unpredictable.  Why?  Because SHE IS OTHER.  Holy, wonderful, and sacred.  I can’t hope to change her and dare not try.  Part of her God-given allure is the mystery of her unquantifiable differentness.

That’s the woman I love!  A Wife of wonder!  When I open my eyes to see her, she is awesome.  And I cannot help but respect and revere this wonderfully made daughter of God.  I cannot help but be grateful for such an undeserved gift.

Of course I will never fully comprehend her on this side of the grave, but I will spend my life in the pleasure of the pursuit.  And my beloved loves to be pursued.

So I’d like to take you to the mirror today and show you something – something that is fearfully and wonderfully made – something that defies definition and is aglow in the splendor of beauty.  It is you.  You are marvelously different.  You are alluringly sacred.  You are lovely.  You are awesome.  You are worthy of respect.  And I honor the greatness of the image of God in you.

p.s.

Please be patient with us – men.  We really don’t understand you.  But in all fairness, you don’t understand us, either.

You see, men are the other half of the image of God.  We are what we are by the grace of God, too.

And by that same grace we will each become more like our God as we recognize His greatness in one another.

Tags: Christian husband, Christian wife, Christian womanhood, I Am, marriage